October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Awareness Day, celebrated throughout the U.S. and Canada, and was designated as part of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in remembrance of infant death, which includes but is not limited to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or the death of a newborn.
Pregnancy and infant loss are subjects that aren’t commonly talked about, but they are unfortunately common. And for parents that have suffered the sudden loss of pregnancy, it can be hard to make sense of what happened, especially if doctors can give no explanation for the loss. Many mothers and fathers that experience such a loss are left speechless as they try to comprehend the circumstances. Though we know there is no immediate fix to the heartache that such a loss brings, we hope these poems, quotes, and notes of love will help you put into words not only the pain, but the love you will forever feel for the life that was taken too soon.
Pregnancy Loss Quotes
- “I loved you from the moment I knew you were there and you will be loved until the day I die.” – Zoe Clark-Coates
- “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you but instead, I am deeply honored knowing that you spent the rest of your life with me.” – Camille Marcotte
- “I carried you every second of your life and I will love you for every second of mine” – Unknown
- “It’s so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone” – John Steinbeck
- “She was born silent into this world, but her little life spoke volumes” – Holly Haas
- “If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever” – Unknown
Pregnancy Loss Poems and Letters
A Love Letter to My Unborn Child
By Jill Asher
My beloved unborn child,
My fingers are numb as I write the word, miscarriage.
I should be putting the crib together and making space in the closet for you clothes. I should be preparing for little sleep, late night feedings and breastfeeding. I should be sharing my joy with friends and family. Yet I am left alone with grief and fight the demons of losing you, my beloved child.
I keep hearing that it simply takes time. How can time take away this aching pain of enver experiencing life with you? How can I recover from this deep and utter loss, when all I want is to do is hold you and shower you with love? From the bottom of feet to the tip of my head, I love you (or should I say, “I loved you”?)
Day by day, I move a little closer to recovery…though I know life will never be the same.
A Dad Hurts Too
People don’t always see the tears a dad cries.
His heart is broken too when his child dies.
He tries to hold it together and be strong.
Even though his world’s gone wrong.
He holds his wife as her tears fall.
Comforts her through it all.
He goes through his day doing what he’s supposed to do.
But a piece of his heart has been ripped away too.
So when he’s alone he lets out his pain.
And his tears come like falling rain.
His world has crashed in around him.
And a world that was once bright has gone dim.
He feels he has to be strong for others.
But dads hurt too, not just the mothers.
He searches for answers but none are to be found.
He hides behind a mask when he is feeling down.
He smiles through his tears.
He struggles and holds in his fears.
But what you see on the outside is not always real.
Men don’t always show how they really feel.
So I’d like to ask a favor of you.
The next time you see a mother hurting over the loss of her child.
Please remember…a dad hurts too.
Pregnancy Loss Books
A full list can be found here.
1. An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination
Author: Elizabeth McCracken
“A prize-winning, successful novelist in her 30s, McCracken was happy to be an itinerant writer and self-proclaimed spinster. But suddenly she fell in love, got married, and two years ago was living in a remote part of France, working on her novel, and waiting for the birth of her first child. This book is about what happened next. In her ninth month of pregnancy, she learned that her baby boy had died. How do you deal with and recover from this kind of loss?”
“Of course you don’t – but you go on. And if you have ever experienced loss or love someone who has, the company of this remarkable book will help you go on. With humor and warmth and unfailing generosity, McCracken considers the nature of love and grief. She opens her heart and leaves all of ours the richer for i
2. Baby Dust
Author: Deanna Roy
“The five women sitting in the circle of chairs all had great dreams of motherhood. Then their babies died. Melinda sees blood on the floor every day after her loss. Dot believes the wrath of God caused her baby to die. Teenage Tina is trolling internet dating sites for a father for another baby, and Janet’s failure to cry means her wedding is off. Stella, the support group leader, must help them while facing the old choices that cost her ever having a family of her own.”
“Based on the stories of dozens of real survivors, Baby Dust is a moving tribute to the strength of mothers who must endure this impossible loss.”
3. Three Minus One: Stories of Parents’ Love & Loss
Authors: Kelly Kittel and Jessica Watson
“The loss of a child is unlike any other, and the impact that it has on the mother, the father, their family, and their friends is devastating – a shockwave of pain and guilt that spreads through their entire community.”
“But the majority of those affected, especially mothers, often suffer their pain in silence, convinced that their grief and trauma is theirs to bear alone. This anthology of raw memoirs, heartbreaking stories, truthful poems, beautiful painting, and stunning photography from the parents who have suffered child loss offers insight into this unique, devastating and life-changing experience – breaking the silence and offering a ray of hope to the many parents out there in search of answers, understanding, and healing.”
What grief quote is meaningful to you? Share by commenting below!